There are a lot of great dog toys out there these days. From squeaky plushies and bouncy balls to ropes and tough chew toys, there are plenty of ways to interact and play with your new or fully grown pup as well as keep them entertained.
That said, sometimes it can be difficult to keep your dog happy and interested indoors without their playthings making a racket. Sure, if you live in a house by yourself or with others who aren’t bothered by noise, the squeaking, honking, thumping, and banging might not be a problem. However, if you live in an apartment building, share part of a house, or just need to keep the noise level down at certain times of the day, these sounds can be disruptive and become a problem.
Everyone Likes a Cute Dog, No One Likes a Noisy Neighbour
Though I now live in a house where loud toys aren’t an issue, I do have a first-hand understanding of the need for quiet toys.
I lived on the 10th floor of a condo when I brought home my very first puppy (a Standard Schnauzer). Whipping a tennis ball at the wood floor wasn’t an option unless I wanted to make an enemy out of my downstairs neighbour. Understandably so. I wouldn’t want to hear a repeated banging/thumping noise above my head at random times of the day or evening either.
Even now, years later, when my husband and I visit his parents in their condo with our second dog (a Brittany Spaniel) – their “granddoggie” whom we’re convinced his parents care more about seeing than us LOL! – we are careful of the toys we bring, ever mindful of the neighbours below them.
The Five Best Quiet Indoor Dog Toys
For those occasions when playtime can only be done indoors and things need to be as quiet as possible, here are some of the go-to toys (in no particular order) I’ve chosen over the years and continue to use to keep things interesting for my pet:
1 – Plush Chew Toys
There are all types, sizes and shapes of plush toys for dogs. If you’re looking for the quietist of the bunch, make sure the plushie is soft through and through, or opt for a toy that grunts, crinkles or has a light rattle instead of the standard high-pitched squeaker. If your dog really likes squeakers, there are also plush toys equipped with an ultrasonic/silent squeaker that only dogs can hear. Do the ultrasonic/silent squeaky toys* work? Well, my dog likes his, but not having his level of hearing, I have no idea what it sounds like to him. LOL!
2 – Rope Toys
Rope toys can be great for quiet indoor play. They’re also often marketed for being washable, chew resistant, durable and can help clean teeth. That said, on the downside, rope toys are not great for dogs that are extreme, aggressive chewers, as they can unravel and threads can come lose, which is something you don’t want your dog ingesting. On the plus side, there are all different styles of rope toys* available from long cords to woven balls
3 – Rubber/Rubber Treat-Dispensing Chew Toys
Toys made from natural rubber are durable and can be fun for a dog to chew, chase or fetch. My personal favorite is the KONG natural rubber classic dog toy*. My dog loves to play with it, and better still, I like that you can put treats inside, which makes things a little more interesting for him and keeps him occupied for longer. The other great thing about KONG is that there are different sizes of their rubber toys as well as different durability levels, accommodating the tiniest mouths and gentle chewers to larger mouths and extreme chewers.
4 – Puzzle Toys and Mats
Puzzle toys are interactive dog toys designed to keep your pooch entertained and busy. They can provide mental stimulation and stave off boredom. There are all sorts of puzzle toys. For instance, there are balls with holes that the dog must roll to release the treats inside. There are also plush toys with multiple compartments that contain other smaller toys that the dog must figure out how to extract. My personal favorite is the Snuffle Mat*. In addition to having a variety of interesting sections, slots and segments ideal for hiding treats, it provides a soft space for the dog to relax, it can be easily rolled up and tucked out of the way and it is washable.
5 – Soft Balls
Indoor soft balls are perfect for playing fetch. There are different selections of balls that fit this category, but my favorite indoor ball of the bunch is the Hartz Dura Play Ball*. It is available in small, medium and large, making it suitable for most dogs of any size. The ball is durable, squishy, and it floats. It has a good bounce without much of a thump and rolls well too. The one drawback is it does have a high-pitched squeaker, so if squeaking is an issue, you might want to remove the squeaker or choose a ball with a soft outer core that is squeak-free.
Final Thoughts
Although the above quiet dog toys I’ve mentioned are ideal for most indoor play, they may not always be best for all dogs and dog sizes. Also, in my experience, I’ve found that not all toys are created equal. Some brands are better than others, and it can be a bit of trial and error until you find the type of toys your dog prefers and that meet your approval and safety standards.
For instance, if your dog is a powerful and persistent chewer, opt for robust products designed to withstand the wear and tear. Likewise, if you’re worried that a rope toy may be dangerous for your dog (ex. you are worried they could pull apart threads and swallow them, etc.) or you believe it may teach your dog aggressive behaviors, choose a different toy that you like better. Of course, no matter the toy you choose, the best way to ensure safe and responsible playtime is to watch your pet while they play with their toys.
Ultimately, it’s always a good idea to factor in the quality, durability and safety of the toy you intend to purchase as well as the size, play preferences and chew power of your dog. This helps to ensure premium (indoor or outdoor) playtime fun for you and your pooch!
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Speaking of crazy (nice segue, wasn’t it?), many of those creations – from those on Sesame Street to those on The Muppet Show, and everything in between – show symptoms of rather distinct mental illnesses and personality disorders. Though still lovable – as many of us with mental health issues are – the Muppets are clearly in need of a little bit of therapy…and likely a lot of medication!
It’s not easy being green, but for Kermit, that is only the start of his struggles. His life started in the swamp, with 3265 brothers and sisters. Though he managed to rise to fame from those humble beginnings – working as a T.V. news reporter, a stage manager at a successful theatre, and as a Johnny Carson show host – even his Hollywood Walk of Fame star can’t hide the fact that he has formed a trauma bond with Miss Piggy and that he suffers from battered person (frog?) syndrome. Even his marriage to her was forced upon him in the film The Muppets Take Manhattan, when he unwittingly became her husband. But wedded bliss didn’t stop Miss Piggy’s smothering love and violent, rage-filled tirades (followed by more smothering affection and apologies). Despite all of this, Kermit has always stayed with her and has always forgiven her. Time for an intervention?
Miss Piggy is the first person to tell you how fabulous she is and why she belongs in the spotlight. At the same time, if someone tries to stand in her way, she’ll take them down like a porcine bulldozer. In her attempts to remain in the limelight, Miss Piggy has revealed her narcissism by being conceited, egotistical, vain, and even prone to violence and rather dubious behavior. These characteristics carry over to her obsession with Kermit the Frog, toward whom her moods swing wildly from romantic passion to overwhelming outrage depending on his response to her affections. These dramatic dips and peaks in her mood have reached the point of destructiveness to her ability to work and to the health of her relationships. This indicates that bipolar disorder may also be present.
Animal is nearly always experiencing wild manic episodes, which he vents through his extreme-level drumming for the Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem band on The Muppet Show. His mania is atypical, and is defined by very high levels of energy, vocal (and only somewhat verbal) exclamations, and high levels of excitement and irritability. Perhaps unrelated to his mania is his tendency toward Pica Disorder, in which he is compulsively drawn to eat non-food objects. He requires continual reminders not to eat items that are non-edible – such as his drums. Beat them, don’t eat them, Animal.
After years of being stretched, zapped, lit up, replicated, and blown up as Dr. Bunsen Honeydew’s Muppet Labs assistant/guinea pig, Beaker has developed a powerful anxiety disorder that causes him to speak in meeps, to maintain an expression that is permanently stunned (his eyelids appear to be non-existent), and to tremble frequently. It has reached the point that Beaker is nervous to do anything in his workplace due to the dangers to which he has been exposed and from Dr. Honeydew’s apparent disregard for Beaker’s health and wellbeing. Though Beaker’s vocalizations are nearly exclusively meeps, his panic attacks can be recognized through increasingly shrill and urgent meeping. As a bright guy, he may have attempted an official workplace safety assessment, but it is difficult for him to express the details of his concerns due to his current communication limitations.
Count von Count, also known simply as “The Count” ,is among the Muppets that is the easiest to diagnose as he shows the classic signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He has a compulsion to count things, punctuating each number with his laughter (“one” followed by “ah ah ah”). Once he is done counting, he will laugh maniacally and will often begin the counting again. Even a single item is enough for The Count to Count. Fortunately his naturally altruistic nature has allowed him to selflessly use his condition in early childhood education, familiarizing children with numbers…ad nauseum.
Big Bird’s childlike nature has made it possible for kids to relate to him while they learn about new things and feel better about themselves. In fact, Big Bird has been doing this for nearly 45 years (Peter Pan Syndrome?). However, Big Bird’s best friend is a talking wooly mammoth (or something like one) named Mr. Aloysius Snuffleupagus…whom only Big Bird can see. It appears that “Snuffy” may be nothing more than a complex form of hallucination. As Big Bird has been left entirely untreated for his condition, the fact that he has built a profound relationship with Snuffy (who may be suffering from a bout of depression of his own) while nobody else on Sesame Street believes that he exists has caused Big Bird to feel persecuted and paranoid. Although Snuffy did become visible to others in 1985, it has been argued that this could be a case of delusional transference called Shared Psychotic Disorder. Not convinced that it’s schizophrenia? Big Bird has extensive and elaborate conversations with his teddy bear, too.
Cookie Monster’s binge eating disorder is completely out of control as this Muppet now has a complete lack of appetite inhibition, particularly (though not exclusively) around cookies. He often falls victim to episodes of extreme overindulgence of cookies; a behavior completely unrelated to a hunger response. It is clear that he is attempting to compensate for a lacking elsewhere in his life. This behavior is not exclusive to Sesame Street, as he has also been known to partake in these marathon eating incidents while visiting others – such as his guest appearance on the Martha Stewart Living show. The domestic diva showed remarkable understanding when Cookie lost control and ate all of her freshly baked cookies…after having originally tied him up in order to control him.
Grover is a sweet, slim, anxious monster whose daydreams cause him to lose touch with reality to the degree that an alter-ego – Super Grover – sometimes appears and takes him over. Super Grover is very different from regular Grover. Unlike his nervous counterpart, Super Grover will take dangerous risks and believes that he can save the day. Unfortunately, his advice to children is rather disconnected with reality. For example, he once recommended that a child take a bus stop sign home as a mode of transportation, instead of the actual bus (fortunately, the kid used his own common sense and took the bus, not the sign).
Oscar lives in a garbage can and has a rather textbook case of antisocial personality disorder (once known as sociopathic personality disorder). His symptoms include a disregard for others, frequent aggression, irritability and violence, disregard for the safety of himself and others, a lack of empathy for others, and a disregard for social norms. Oscar enjoys easy targets such as Grover and Telly, although he is surprisingly gentle with Slimy, his friend the striped worm.
Companies sell some pretty weird things, but what is even stranger is that people will actually pay money to buy them. The following are some of the most bizarre things ever to hit the store shelves – and that actually made it to the checkout counter!
Lickable Wallpaper, may seem like something out of fiction – possibly Willie Wonka’s factory – but it is a real product and it has been installed in the elevator of a communications company based in London, called Engine. It is made up of 1,325 McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes and is cookie flavoured. The company is hoping to install this new tasty interior decorating treat in other locations throughout its office, in the future. The real concern isn’t the taste as much as whether or not it is possible to keep it sanitary!
The greeting cards are made up of the unique, one-of-a-kind shredded paper creations of Luigi the lovebird, who is owned by Mary McQueen. These cards are sold through Mary and Luigi’s company, called Hand and Beak. Not only are these cards flying off the shelves (so to speak), but Mary was able to secure a massive investment from David Chilton (author of “The Wealthy Barber”) on the CBC show The Dragon’s Den (the Canadian version of The Shark Tank on ABC). Today, they’re sold at Hallmark Cards and are flying off the shelves! Now who’s the bird brain?
A company called Images Scientific Instruments has released a UFO detector among its many unique forms of “science equipment”. This particular device is designed to help its owner to detect when UFOs are nearby by sensing magnetic and electromagnetic disturbances. If there is a UFO zooming in, the flashing LED light and beeping sound is meant to help owner to either escape in time to avoid abduction or be the first to arrive at a landing (or crash) site. In case you are hoping to learn to detect UFO appearances, yourself, instead of relying on a device the company also sells an ESP lamp that will allow you to hone your extra sensory perception skills.
In the off chance that your UFO detector didn’t alert you fast enough, or if the aliens you did meet had less-than-friendly intentions, UFO abduction insurance is now available to cover the damages. The coverage was first sold by the St. Lawrence Agency, which is located in Altamonte Springs, Florida. More than 20,000 people have bought a policy of this nature (though not necessarily from that provider), the most famous of whom is likely Shirley MacLaine. This likely doesn’t come as much of a shock, as celebrities are known for purchasing all sorts of strange forms of 
Tired of cleaning up after your dog? Why not allow him to do the cleaning for you with Pet Sweep? These four wearable duster boots fit on your dog’s paws so that he will clean fur, dust, crumbs, and other debris off the floor as he moves about the house. According to the package, one size fits most paws…hopefully customers are not trying to fit the product to both a Chihuahua and a Great Dane!
After a hard day of housecleaning using the Pet Sweep, your furry friend is likely all tuckered out and ready to curl up on the couch for a relaxing evening. The people behind the Snuggie for humans understands and has now created a version of its soft fleece blanket with sleeves, with Rover in mind. The manufacturer promises that it will be far easier to put on your pooch than a typical dog sweater. I guess 30 seconds is just too much time for some people.
No list of weird things that people buy could be considered complete without an honourable mention for the Flowbee Haircutting System. All you need is a vacuum cleaner, the Flowbee, and an individual with no care for personal appearance, and you’ll save thousands on haircuts over the years. It even works on pets; because everybody wants to share their grooming products with the dog! Since the product was first launched in 1988, well over 2 million of these vacuum cleaner attachment units have been sold.
The Discovery Spot 